ferretrade:

haleyocentrism:

i didnt shovel enough driveways as a kid so i didnt build enough character and thats why im the way that i am 

i have never had to mow a lawn and you can tell

officialgrandpa:

i know theres no assigned seating in college but like….. thats my seat ?? leave u squatter ???

jausters:

dragon-in-a-fez:

my friend’s four-year-old son wouldn’t go to sleep because he wanted to keep looking at the stars and she tried to bribe him with a piece of chocolate and he just said “would you rather get a reward or be happy” and turned back to the window

Oh my… God?

ohmyfuckingoreos:

I need to snort a fucking line of self confidence

90sgrl:

my hidden talents include romanticising everything, oversharing, crying, and overthinking 

gothvelma:

egberts:

idk what’s funnier, pets with stereotypical human names like bryan and mckayla or pets with completely ridiculous names like hamburger and concrete

counterpoint- both, one of each. “these are my cats, switchboard and gary.”

averyho:

She’s So Gone from Lemonade Mouth, Take A Hint from Victorious and Busted from Phineas and Ferb are in a class of music all of their own.

tittily:

fakegoldrose:

yeeeem:

yeeeem:

yeeeem:

pretty sure Seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

sloth and pride make Bottoming

stop. i beg you